Somusing

In an earlier post, I speculated that maybe I was about to enter a Mystery phase, a phase I've never experienced before. So I gave it a go. I don't think it really took, but it was kind of fun.

The Cat Who Went Underground by Lilian Jackson Braun. These are well-known, but I'd never read one before. I liked the main character pretty well, but the cats were uninteresting. I'm not really a cat person, unless the cat is asking for a cheeseburger. (Don't be mad, cat-lovers! I'm not a dog person, either. Or a pet person. Or even a kid person, actually.) Also, does it always take so long to get to the mystery part?

B is for Burglar by Sue Grafton. Another famous mystery writer. This was pretty good. There was plenty happening and the characters were fun. I liked it pretty well.

Deadly Décisions by Kathy Reichs. I love, love, love the TV show Bones, and since it's gone for the summer, I thought I'd try to get my fix this way, since the show is loosely based on Kathy Reichs and her books. (Kathy Reichs is a forensic anthropologist who writes novels about a forensic anthropologist named Temperance Brennan, and Bones is about forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan who writes books about the fictional character Kathy Reichs! That's just the kind of silly, clever trick that I love.) There's not enough similarity between book and show to get me my fix, but I liked it pretty well and I might read more of them. I guess it might not technically qualify as a mystery.

and yes, I know which road is paved therewith. But I'm pretty sure failing to act on my good intentions of posting on this blog won't lead there. Anyway...

It's time to play catch up again. So here are a bunch of movies I've seen in the last several months:

White Teeth (2002). This was a British miniseries and was pretty good. Of course, I loved the book, and this couldn't reach the complexity that I loved about that, but it was worth watching. Disclaimer: I'm not advocating that everyone go watch it, though. The book is racy and so is the movie. It's foreign, and not rated like our American stuff. It's not terrible, but there's some stuff in it. Just so you know.

Leon the Pig Farmer (1992). I saw this on Hulu (don't know if it's still there). There's plenty of delightful Jewish humor here (a Jewish man discovers that his real father is a pig farmer, and that's pretty funny), but it's a little slow-moving. It may be that it's just showing its age. Movies were slower way back in the early '90s.

Emma (2009). No, we'll never get tired of film adaptations of Jane Austen's novels. Emma was probably my least favorite novel to read, but this is a nice adaptation. Jonny Lee Miller is Mr. Knightley and I approve. I still get uncomfortable at the idea that the older and wiser Mr. Knightley is raising up his perfect bride by chastising and guiding her, but in principle, I don't necessarily have a problem with that. Also, Emma is annoying! But she was supposed to be. But now I'm writing about the book. She's not that annoying in this PBS mini-series.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010). They changed the story quite a bit for the movie, and I don't know why, but it was a lot of fun. We took the whole family for someone's birthday, and everyone enjoyed it, even Jon.

The Blind Side (2009). Very, very good. A great story and very good acting and I love seeing pictures of the real people at the end of the movie.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009). I wanted to like this, and I guess I didn't hate it while I was actually watching it, but it was weird and kind of irritating. Although I did like Mr. T as the cop ("This contact lens represents you! And my eye represents my eye! I've got my eye on you!"). Oh, but I just looked up that quote and saw some other quotes from the movie and I have to rethink my overall impression. And here it is: the end ruined it. There are some really funny lines in this movie (maybe a little too SNL-esque, but funny), but the end was so dumb. I love the book, by the way!

The Interpreter (2005). It hasn't been that long since we watched this, and I'm struggling to remember details from it. Now I remember, and it was entertaining but not memorable. How 'bout that?

Gentlemen Broncos (2009). Oh my. Oh my. I'm not sure what to say about this latest from Jared and Jerusha Hess, the writers of Napoleon Dynamite (brilliant!) and Nacho Libre (not as brilliant but still pretty funny). Gentlemen Broncos is by turn hilarious, disgusting, insane, brilliant, and offensive. I could probably come up with more adjectives. If you are a reader or watcher of science fiction, you should prolly see it. If you have a sense of humor about it, anyway.

I've been thinking about starting this list for a while. When I was a teenager, I was pretty loyal to a certain kind of music, and I was definitely a little uppity about only liking alternative music, which at the time was called New Wave. Or something. Most of what I listened to seemed electronic at the time. I say "seemed" because I didn't have a very clear idea of what produced various sounds, and I thought I was mostly listening to synthesizers. (I didn't know, okay!). Now I know better, for the most part. But anyway, here are a few songs that I've grown to appreciate as I grew up, mostly in the last few years. (Maybe the years from age 38 to 40 aren't typically considered growing up years, but it would be depressing if I didn't think I was still growing up.)

"Rock the Casbah" by the Clash. I've never been a big fan of The Clash, and I especially hated "Should I Stay or Should I Go." (He should go! Clearly!) But this cover is awesome. And this cover is pretty good. And now I even like the original, which turns out to have interesting lyrics and a terrific bass line.

"Thriller" by Michael Jackson. If I had to hear this more than once a year or so, I wouldn't like it, but it's fun to hear around Halloween.

"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC. I can't explain this. It's ridiculous, but it has that great guitar riff, and Angus Young's insane vocals make me smile and/or laugh. I probably should have liked it as a teenager, but I had my standards, and they were generally anti-guitars. (Again, I didn't know that New Order and Cocteau Twins used guitars. I was dumb!)

As a bonus, here's the video of AC/DC's "It's a Long Way to the Top If You Wanna Rock and Roll," which features bagpipes. I didn't know this song when I was young, so I can't include it in the list. But I love the bagpipes with the guitar. That is cool.

After I got over the initial shock of Wait! You're Messing with Pride and Prejudice!, I loved this British mini-series. I think Jane Austen would love it, too. Mr. Bennet, whose first name turns out to be Claude, has the funniest and best lines, for the most part, but there's a lot of good stuff here. As I mentioned, though, if you're a Pride and Prejudice fan, you must be prepared for irreverence and chaos with beloved characters, but things turn out all right in the end. It's fun and refreshing to have something new happen in the story.

I've given this recipe to a lot of people, so I decided to do a post about it, so I can just refer to it in the future. Although it occurs to me that I haven't verified that the people to whom I've given the recipe actually like it. But whatever. It works for me, so here it is:

• 6 cups whole wheat flour (or 5 cups whole wheat flour and 1 cup white flour or any combination you desire)
• 2 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 2 1/4 teaspoon yeast (one package, if you're buying those little packages)
• 2 1/2 cups water (about 110°, like a pretty warm bath)
• about 2 tablespoons oil (vegetable or olive oil or whatever)
• 2 to 4 tablespoons honey (I don't like bread overly sweet, so I stick to the lower amount. I think. I don't usually measure)

Mix all the dry ingredients in a stand mixer. (I have a Kitchenaid and use the dough hook for this bread, although I usually mix the dry ingredients with a wooden spoon first. Also, I almost never proof my yeast. I've never had it fail me. If you want to proof your yeast, just add it to 1/2 cup of the warm water and 1/2 teaspoon of sugar and stir well before you do anything else. It should be foaming by the time you get around to adding the liquids later. And don't forget that you've already used 1/2 cup of the water, so you'd only need 2 more cups.)

Combine the liquids and make sure they're the right temperature. I usually measure warm water first (just from the tap) and add the honey and oil, but if it's not warm enough, I'll use the microwave in small intervals. Yeast needs warmth to be happy, and extreme temperatures both hot and cold will kill it. The liquids should be warm but not hot enough to burn you.

Turn the mixer on to the lowest speed and add the liquids very slowly. I use a glass Pyrex measuring cup that has one of those little lips for pouring stuff. And I mean slowly! It should take you a few minutes to get it all in, and the liquids should incorporate slowly into the dry stuff, without creating big puddles slopping all over the place. (Of course, I've added it too fast, and it's fixable, but it's so much easier if you just add it slowly!) Then let the mixer go for about ten minutes. Keep an eye on the dough and if you want to, you can test it by turning off the mixer and touching it. It should be slightly sticky, but not sticky enough to stick to your finger. That's the perfect bread dough, in my opinion. However, if it's too sticky, you can always add a little flour as it's mixing, or even later.

After ten minutes of mixing, generously flour your counter and dump the dough out. I usually have to scrape the dough out of the bowl with a wooden spoon. If you're making bread with all white flour, the dough is often this beautiful, smooth piece of dough that plops out without any stickiness, but whole wheat flour makes a stickier mess. Don't be afraid. Get all the dough on that counter, and do some hand kneading. If it's annoyingly sticky, just keep adding a little flour, but you want it to be somewhat sticky. (I'm overusing the word "sticky" here, but I can't think of any other good words.)

Knead a few times and then place it in an oiled (or sprayed with that evil Pam stuff) bowl. Cover it with a damp towel or with plastic wrap (also oiled or sprayed) and let it rise until double, usually about an hour. Then punch it down, divide the dough into two equal parts, and form loaves. I use a rolling pin (or my hands when I'm lazy and don't want to get the rolling pin out) to form them into roughly rectangular shapes, the short side about the length of the bread pan. Then I roll them up and put them in the oiled or sprayed bread pans, seam side down. (If the dough is being difficult and won't stay in the shape you're trying to get it in, just cover it and let it rest for 15 minutes or so, and then try again.)

Cover with the same towel or plastic wrap and let rise again. And the following tip is from Deborah Madison's book Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone, which is my original favorite cookbook (I've had others since, but it's my first love and taught me so much about cooking and baking): when the tops of the loaves are just rising above the level of the pans, turn the oven to 375°, and when the oven is finished preheating, stick them in. (Uncover them first, of course.) Bake for 40 to 45 minutes and turn them out onto a wire rack to cool right when you take them out.

Wait for 15 to 30 minutes to cut into it! I know fresh-from-the-oven bread is amazing and yummy, but it will cut so much better if you wait a little bit and it will still be warm enough to melt butter.

Now I'll confess that 1)my bread doesn't always turn out perfectly and 2)I mess around with this recipe a lot. Sometimes I add powdered milk to the dry ingredients (enough to make about 1 cup of milk). Sometimes I use brown sugar instead of honey. Sometimes I use half white, half whole wheat. I have been known to use gluten and/or dough conditioners, but I think using 1/2 to 1 cup of white flour and the rest whole wheat does the trick just as well, and I like recipes with fewer ingredients. But I've also added oats to this recipe, and it was good. I think it'd be good with the larger amount of honey and with raisins and cinnamon, but I haven't tried that yet. I've left out the oil entirely, and it still seems okay. And I've made it entirely by hand, too, with no electricity involved. Sometimes I've had whole wheat flour that didn't rise as well as it should have, but everyone ate the bread anyway (and maybe the thing to do with wheat like that is to use it with more white flour). Sometimes my bread is a little too risen and it kind of falls over when you slice it, but the kids never care. (I think that happens when I let it rise too much before I put it in the oven.)

Anyway, that's my basic bread recipe. I do recommend Deborah Madison's book for a non-threatening, short but thorough tutorial on bread-making. You could just read it while standing in the aisle at Barnes & Noble. (Is that really how you spell "thorough?" Suddenly it looks weird.)

So, I haven't been reading much lately. I'm halfway through a novel called Freddy and Fredericka by Mark Helprin, but it's been so long since I picked it up that there's an impressive layer of dust on the front cover. (And I think I've even dusted it once since I opened it last.) It's an entertaining and hilarious novel reminiscent of A Confederacy of Dunces, except that it's about a silly crown prince in England (and later in America) instead of about a misanthropic fat man in New Orleans. I think I will finish it someday, but for now, my reading habits have taken an unfamiliar (to me) turn.

I'm knitting and watching more online TV, although I seem to have finally gotten over the Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel obsession. (Thank goodness. But I don't guarantee that it won't return.) And otherwise, I'm reading bits and pieces of many non-fiction books: Confessions of a Public Speaker by Scott Berkun; 10 Habits That Mess Up a Woman's Diet by Elizabeth Somer; Free-Range Knitter by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee; and many knitting pattern books, interior design books, and the occasional cookbook. That's not an exhaustive list, merely representative. Some of these books I'll finish eventually and some I won't. But apparently I'm avoiding the plot-driven book these days.

However, I'm considering the possibility, what with all the watching of TV shows, with their wrapped-up-in-less-than-an-hour plots, that I might be about to enter a phase of reading mysteries. (I do not include Lost in the genre of TV shows that wrap up plots in an hour. I'm just hoping they wrap up the plot at the end of this, The Final Season. It's getting ridiculous now: so the smoke monster had a mother? And the mother was insane? Boo hoo! Poor smoke monster that looks and acts exactly like but is not Locke!)

Anyway, I've never really liked mysteries all that much, but suddenly they sound pleasant, with logic and clues leading to a satisfying solution. If anyone wants to suggest a good mystery, please do. We can also discuss the possibility that my craving for neatly portrayed stories might be a reaction to My Present Life, which is just getting busier and more full of questions about how to proceed with the kids' education and other pressing matters. Although I'm kind of enjoying Life, even in the face of that feeling that all of our decisions right now will determine whether our children become Lazy Slobs with No Work Ethic Who Tragically Wasted Their Potential or Decent, Talented, Bright People Who Contribute to Society. (I know those aren't the extremes. They could also become Sociopathic Criminals Who (we hope) Languish in Prison or World-Famous Scientists/Doctors Who Cure All of Society's Ills.)

Oh, I just remembered that I actually finished a book recently: The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom by Suze Orman. I did kind of skim the end, though. I liked it!

I almost forgot that I saw this movie, but I did and it was even in a theater. And actually, it was rather funny and not your typical romantic comedy. Sandra Bullock is a fine comedic actor. It's not a great movie, but it's entertaining.

I have fond memories of the soundtrack to Saturday's Warrior and vague memories of my parents taking me to see a live production when I was little. We watched this 1989 production of the play while we were at my parents' house over Thanksgiving. I think I might be permanently scarred. The combination of cheesiness and 1980s fashion was too much for me. There's probably some pretty interesting psychological stuff I could get into (I used to think that looked cool?), but I'd rather not.

Yes Man is good! One of Jim Carrey's more thoughtful movies, funny but with something meaningful to say. I always like Zooey Deschanel, too. This movie is at least loosely based on a non-fiction book by Danny Wallace, which I'd like to read. Wallace sounds like the British version of A.J. Jacobs, doing semi-crazy stuff and then writing books about the experience.

There are a few funny moments in The Proposal. How could there not be with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock? But there's no reason at all for the two characters to fall in love, except proximity and the fact that they're both nice-looking.

I'll say the same thing about Jersey Girl, which is not the recent Jersey Girl with Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck but an early '90s rom-com with Dylan McDermott and a girl that I recognize but can't name. It's all so unbelievable. Or maybe any girl can force the guy of her dreams to fall in love with her by getting into a car accident with him and then relentlessly and annoyingly pursuing him. Hey, I love Hulu, but their movie selection is limited.